wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman:

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

hopelessromanticinspace:

cryoverkiltmilk:

squeeful:

ineptshieldmaid:

marzipanandminutiae:

feels-for-the-fictional:

satanpositive:

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple,
But one thing you’ve missed:
The concept of “purple”
Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names
For a color, you see.
Hence good old Homer
And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint,
A phrasing so old,
For verses of romance
Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red.
Violets once were called blue.
I’m hugely pedantic
But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong
About Homer’s wine-ey sea!
Colours are a matter
Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux
And meanings they drift
But the word purple
You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple,
My friends, is old
And refers to a pigment
once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs
From the wine-dark sea
You make a dye:
Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome,
to wear purpura
was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’,
for clothes so fancy,
Entered English
By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets
Not purple in song?
The dye from this mollusc,
known for so long

Is almost magenta;
More red than blue.
The concept of purple
is old, and yet new.

The dye is red,
So this might be true:
Roses are purple
And violets are blue

.

While this song makes me merry,
Tyrian purple dyes many a hue
From magenta to berry
And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race
The answer is staring you right in the face:
Roses are red and violets are blue
Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

Originally posted by enjoythebits

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

DYING. I AM DYING.

(via ranger52enroute)

nuclear-nigerians:

This really dalendas my Cartago.

(via luchadoreofliberty)

(via thebootydiaries)

cryptid-wendigo:

A Bureau of Land Management worker posted this video on their facebook page saying that they “captured this strange ‘thing’ swimming in the Chena River in Fairbanks”. The ‘creature’ in this video was soon named the Alaska Ice Monster and spread like wildfire. Theories started flying about what this was. An Alaskan Nessie? Some kind of arctic crocodile? A giant fish? 

It boils down to something much simpler: frazil ice stuck to a rope that is attached to a nearby pier. Frazil ice is soft ice that cannot completely freeze due to turbulent water. While the ‘creature’ seems to be moving in the water, a rope is merely swaying in the current.

(via cryptid-wendigo)

halflifegifs:

gloriousninjaalpaca:

Sign up and have fun.

Very annoyed that this bot removed my toe sucking caption. You Are A Horny. Traffic. Revenue. Bot. And You have the Gall, the Chutzpah, the CAHOONIES to be Embarrassed by My Captions????

(via tracy-grimshaw-warcriminal)

pochowek:

(via loafed-beans)

m16s-m1911s-and-power:

realest-asami-requiem:

this post was made in a thread about Fortnite with no context and it is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and I don’t know why.

Such a powerful image.

quinndolyns:

quinndolyns:

me at the nail salon thinking about Schemes and Heists

still scheming, still heisting

(via tracy-grimshaw-warcriminal)

masked-up:

(via uss-edsall)

loafed-beans:

mr-downer:

loafed-beans:

mr-downer:

loafed-beans:

mr-downer:

nightmare-of-solomon:

GOP wins majority. They bring in a massive cube, forged from firearms and set it upon a pedestal of gold. Upon this altar blood is spilt in an unholy sacrifice to the eldritch gods of the Republican Party. The Potomac River turns red with blood. Abominable utterings echo from the senate as many voices become one. Mitch McConnell takes on his true demonic form, turning democrat members of the senate into swarms of locusts.

Obama stands alone against the demonic hoard, in his hands a sword, its hilt crafted from the bones of Americas forefathers, it’s blade infused with liquid Constitution. It is he, the one who must slay the beast and stop this dark ritual from summoning the Greater Demon Reagan from his slumber.

*through the fire and flames blares in the distance*

implying the holy kube isnt the good guy here. 

ITS FUCKING REAL???

You dare question the existence of the great monolith Nex Alea?

Send me the location

Glenbow Museum, Calgary